In December of 2012, I was broken-hearted, depressed, addicted to drugs, in the adult film industry, and desperate for help. I knew the life I was living wasn’t designed for me, because if it was, then why did I want to end it so badly? I knew there had to be something greater out there for me, but I just didn’t know what.
I am so grateful that my internal knowing that there was something greater out there for me led me to Christ. I had finally come to the end of myself and in doing so, I encountered my Savior. Without telling my agent, co-workers, nor my hundreds of thousands of fans, I made the radical decision to quit the porn industry once and for all.
I started going to church, yes I was high on drugs, but I didn’t let that stop me. I was so hungry for God that I found myself at church five days a week. I also sought Him every single morning. I got down on my knees to worship Him, prayed, and read the Bible. Fasting also became apart of my routine. By the end of January 2013, God set me free from my addiction to drugs. It was the first time in seven years of using that I did not get dope sick. God truly performed a miracle for me.
He also began to gracefully convict me. Because of His convictions, I decided to stop dating for one year because men were my weakness and I didn’t need the distraction. I needed to grow in God and finally become all that He had designed me to be. I also decided to stop having sex until marriage.
If purity is big on God’s heart then it needed to be big on my heart as well. I don’t believe that it is the absence of sex that makes one pure, it’s the condition of one’s heart that makes them pure. However, when you’re heart is pure then you’ll desire to honor God, not out of religion, but because of the deep love you have for Him. For the first time in my life, I was finally at peace with Him and because He saved me, I was (and still am) willing to do anything for Him.
Over the next year, through seeking God daily, He healed me, revealed to me who I was in Him, and gave me a passion to help those who are both in the porn industry and those who struggle with porn addiction. I had this passionate fire burning within me, but I didn’t know what to do with it, until now.
Last week, Craig shared with you that my husband and I will be the new faces of XXXchurch.com. We are humbled and honored that God has called us to this ministry, and we are so grateful that both God and Craig have entrusted us with this position. We believe that God is going to do a new thing in this ministry. There have been so many lives that have been greatly impacted by the work of the XXXchurch.com, mine included, but God is not done yet.
I first encountered XXXchurch while I was still in the porn industry. I used to call them the “Jesus Loves Porn Stars People”. This message pierced my heart. I used to wonder, “Could Jesus really love me? Because I sure don’t deserve it. I sell myself for money. How could He ever love me?”
But XXXchurch showed me with their continuous acts of love and kindness that YES, Jesus really did love me. In fact, He loved me so much that He refused to leave me in my misery. Who would have ever thought that in my sin, God would connect me with a ministry that many years later He would ask me to lead? Certainly not me, but this is the grace of our God.
My husband and I are excited to serve you! Comment below and let us know your thoughts, questions, prayer requests, what you’d like to see more of here, or whatever may be on your heart. Next week, you’ll get to read my husband’s side of the story and hear his heart for the ministry. We love you, we are here for you, and we are praying for you!
Brittni De La Mora